Lost and Found

I'm often not very good at expressing myself, so I like to let others do it for me.

Here is one of my favorite authors (C.S. Lewis) saying some things that were recently on my mind for reasons I will explain at the end of this blog....

Men are reluctant to pass over from the notion of an abstract and negative deity to the living God. I do not wonder. Here lies the deepest tap-root of Pantheism and of the objection to traditional imagery. It was hated not, at bottom, because it pictured Him as man but because it pictured Him as king, or even as warrior. The Pantheist's God does nothing, demands nothing. He is there if you wish for Him, like a book on a shelf. He will not pursue you. There is no danger that at any time heaven and earth should flee away at His glance. If He were the truth, then we could really say that all the Christian images of kingship were a historical accident of which our religion ought to be cleansed. It is with a shock that we discover them to be indispensable. You have had a shock like that before, in connection with smaller matters - when the line pulls at your hand, when something breathes beside you in the darkness. So here; the shock comes at the precise moment when the thrill of life is communicated to us along the clue we have been following. It is always shocking to meet life where we thought we were alone. 'Look out!' we cry, 'it's alive'. And therefore this is the very point at which so many draw back - I would have done so myself if I could - and proceed no further with Christianity. An 'impersonal God' - well and good. A subjective God of beauty, truth and goodness, inside our own heads - better still. A formless life-force surging through us, a vast power which we can tap - best of all. But God Himself, alive, pulling at the other end of the cord, perhaps approaching at an infinite speed, the hunter, king, husband - that is quite another matter. There comes a moment when the children who have been playing at burglars hush suddenly: was that a real footstep in the hall? There comes a moment when people who have been dabbling in religion ('Man's search for God!') suddenly draw back. Supposing we really found Him? We never meant it to come to that! Worse still, supposing He had found us?
So it is a sort of Rubicon. One goes across; or not. But if one does, there is no manner of security against miracles. One may be in for anything.

So a few days ago I lost my ring. I was SOOOOOOO upset when it happened. This ring is very special to me. I've had it for years, my parents gave it to me....I just really like this ring. I'm always deathly afraid of losing it, so I try to keep it extra safe. Part of my way of "keeping it safe" means that I usually take off my rings before I go to the bathroom. I have this irrational fear that they're going to fall off of my fingers into the toilet. Now if any of you have been to China before, you know that anything that goes into a squatty is never coming back. So I took off my rings in my office and put them on my desk. I had to meet someone so when I came back I put them into the pocket of my sweater (my hands were still wet) and took off. As I was walking along to meet my friends, I took my rings out to put them back on. Slight problem: I only had two of my rings (I usually wear 3). So I spent a few minutes looking for it, backtracked a few times, and was getting more and more upset by the minute (we're talking a big area to cover here between my office and the place I was meeting my friends). After I met my friends, we all spent a considerable amount of time scouring the ground for a sign of my ring. I checked my pockets, I checked my purse, my friend checked my pockets. No ring. We asked some other students to let us know if they saw anything. We decided to put up a notice in case anyone saw anything, but I was quickly losing hope of ever getting my ring back. All this time I keep thinking, "this is such a small thing. I hate wasting my friends' time like this," while at the same time praying, "LORD, this is such a small thing, but You know how important it is to me. Please, please let me get my ring back!"

Well, eventually we had to go our separate ways (home), and it was starting to get dark which meant less chance of seeing a small, shiny, silver ring on the ground. I visited with some of my neighbors (foreigners) for a while, and told them about my disappointing day, how I was sure I would never see my ring again, before going back home to hit the hay. Now, understand that this whole time we have been moving around....when I got home, I kind of threw my stuff on my bed as I usually do, and I started getting ready to go to sleep. So guess what happened next....God always surprises me. I should just expect surprises by now, but then I guess they wouldn't be surprises. Well, I dropped my cell phone and empty pack of kleenex on my bed, and just a few inches away was, yes, my ring. The one I lost at school. Don't ask me how it got on my bed; I have no idea. Truthfully, I don't even care how it got on my bed. The point is, I prayed that God would help me find it, and He did. It was such a small thing, but God still cared enough to help me out when I asked Him. Wow. I just have to brag on Him for that. And that also calls to my mind something else that C.S. Lewis said....

All prayers are heard, though not all prayers are granted. We must not picture destiny as a film unrolling for the most part on its own, but in which our prayers are sometimes allowed to insert additional items. On the contrary; what the film displays to us as it unrolls already contains the results of our prayers and of all our other acts. There is no question whether an event has happened because of your prayer. When the event you prayed for occurs your prayer has always contributed to it. When the opposite event occurs your prayer has never been ignored; it has been considered and refused, for your ultimate good and the good of the whole universe. (For example, because it is better for you and for everyone else in the long run that other people, including wicked ones, should exercise free will than that you should be protected from cruelty or treachery by turning the human race into automata.) But this is, and must remain, a matter of faith. You will, I think, only deceive yourself by trying to find special evidence for it in some cases more than in others.


P.S. I am working on possibly posting a few scattered pictures here and there on this site. I hope it will work, but as I can't see the results of what it looks like actually posted, I will just have to rely on you to tell me if it looks awful. And, incidentally, I also cannot read anything anyone else posts on here. That's what I get for living in a country that screens e-mails and blocks certain websites....(as a side note, the next few blogs may be slightly out of order)

Psalm 121

And if these mountains had eyes, they would wake to find two strangers in their fences, standing in admiration as a breathing red pours its tinge upon earth's shore. These mountains, which have seen untold sunrises, long to thunder praise but stand reverent, silent so that man's weak praise should be given God's attention.

It is a wonder that those exposed to such beauty forfeit the great questions in the face of this miraculous evidence. I think again about this small period of grace, and thank God for it, that if only for a season, I could feel the why of life, see it in the metaphor of light, in the endlessness of the cosmos, in the miracle of friendship. And had these mountains the ability to reason, perhaps they would contemplate the beauty of humanity, and praise God for the miracle that each of us is, pondering the majesty of God and the wonder of man in one bewildering context.

Their brows are rumpled even now, and their arms are stretched toward heaven.

--Excerpt from Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller

Mark 10:15

For such is the Kingdom....

Sometimes while I'm driving
Trying to find my song
Looking for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are
Bringin' me back home....

Oooh Oooh Oooooh
Is there anybody out there? Does anybody care? Are the people really there?
Oooh Oooh Oooooh
Is there anybody seeking? Does anybody see? Or are they deaf and dumb like me?

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
-- Matthew 18:1-6

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
-- Matthew 19:14

We met this beautiful little girl on our trip to the Mandian Waterfall in Yunnan. That's her house she's standing in. Yes, she lives there. And she's one of the happiest, friendliest, most beautiful little girls I've met in a long time. Oh, for the heart of a child.....

I feel so alive

Every day is a new day
I'm thankful for every breat I take
I won't take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control, sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind

I feel so alive for the very first time
I can't deny You
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can't hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I've seen You
I can never look away

- P.O.D.

P.S. -- actually posted 4/16/06 ~ Easter Sunday morning